如果

如果我是一名演員，我願能扮演歷經滄桑，一名只有悲情的演員。

如果我是一名歌手，我願能演唱所有撕心裂肺 歇斯底里的歌曲。

此刻沒有其他好起來的想法 只有悲傷。

是安全感 是舒適圈 外界侵進不來 也不想管外界的內心小範圍。

那些我能控制的事是將耳機戴上 聽盡讓內心寧靜下來的歌曲。

從我無法控制 不知如何控制 不理解 不明白到有意識的點滴，

Music heals and stay with me, always.

This is the only thing that I can control. 聽或聽 停或不停。

When I feel like crying, I start to let tears drop as it should.

Tearing reminds us to pause ourselves and focus on our inner space.

堅持不難 但不堅持更難。

那些相信的事 覺得無論如何都要堅持下去的事，掙扎是必有的。

因為知道需要堅持才有那麼一線的可能看見也許

而若不堅持的話 僅那麼一線的也許就真的看不見了

儘管也許是什麼仍是個疑問。跟未來一樣是看不見的。

I knew I have been stressing or pushing myself harsh for many years

Even though I don't know why and what is the reason to put myself on this place

I don't know.

Acceptance.

To accept I am an ordinary and sadness ducky.

I love and do still believe in happiness.

兩者沒衝突，前者是一部分，後者也是部分的自己。

It is been a while that I stop and quit asking anyone around me describing or getting comments from them about myself. 

I am still on the journey for searching and understand about my strength, myself, my everything...

But the only one I am still asking and pray every night before I fall alseep is 御本尊.

I wonder when, where, how and what till I have my own and every answer till I found my way to keep running freedomly.  

The only faith and hope I believe 御本尊 is leading and guiding me to somewhere.

Pray.